On the Calendar….

Calendars for the coming year are available in the last quarter of the year, as well as mobile phone apps and online access. Business people often enter certain important dates in their e-mail program so they “pop up” as a reminder. Others - so as not to forget, make it a point to sit down with their notes book and hand print birth dates, anniversaries, vacation times, etc. onto the new calendar.

Boxed sets of birthday or all-occasion cards are popular – I’ve heard that a ritual early in January is to sign, address and stamp cards for the entire year so it’s just a matter of popping the envelope in the mail!

Personal occasions, such as one’s birthday, are more important to some than to others. One family in my own circle of relatives has never celebrated birthdays, anniversaries or dates such as Valentines, Easter, Thanksgiving, etc... It’s a practice they’re used to so nobody gets bent out of shape on their birthday, for example, when there’s no card or cake.

If your Mom, Dad or partner doesn’t acknowledge a specific date – a first inclination is to feel disappointed, and maybe a titch vexed! The first time it happened to me it took a whole day to realize that my Dad forgetting my birthday was “just one of those things”. Last year my Mother forgot my anniversary – and again, not a big deal. As she blithely said later, “it’s only important to the couple”.

It feels special though when there’s a card on the tree at Christmas and other occasions! With Valentine’s Day and all its hype fast-approaching, hold onto the outburst of hurt that likely fills your throat – maybe there’s a reason. Consider all the possibilities before the Big Pout – and don’t indulge in pay-back.

Couples who have weathered storms over a long time together have confidence that their commitment is still strong. With the pace of life and that too-long list of Things to Do, it’s easy to forget an occasion, unless there are Reminders posted everywhere! Frothy cards and maybe flowers are truly a treat, especially when unexpected! It’s what’s in our heart that’s more significant than what’s on the calendar.

Since then….

I noticed recently, when perusing the television schedule for a Saturday night movie, that films made in the mid-last half of the 20^th century sometimes portrayed the hardships of female entertainers who had a long row to hoe.

Female vocalists travelled from gig to gig on a bumpy bus or overcrowded sedan – enduring miles of journeying without adequate rest or other niceties. Hard raw liquor, swigged out of a bottle shared by everyone, groping and other less discreet advances for favours seldom mentioned, little privacy and a lot of pressure from the band leader to perform well must have felt desperate – with little or no hope of changing the game.

In more modern times I wonder if there is much improvement in the lifestyle. Luxurious motor coaches, or custom-outfitted limousines may provide a smoother ride and more comfort – the toll however must be unrelenting and with infrequent relief. Taking one’s band “on the road” or heading to the promised land of stardom requires good fiscal and personal management, unswerving ambition and strength of character to resist adverse temptations.

When hysterical fans are a faceless crowd and home seems very far away, I think it must feel like an ever-running hamster on a wheel. Fame, fortune and adulation is measurable – the long and winding road leads past many a mile of new experiences and challenges.

Entertainment icons who historically have given back to their communities and continue to implement benevolence are more memorable than their starring roles or inevitable falls from grace.

Applause please; cheers and respect for the innumerable film stars and singers who somehow keep their eye on the ball and heads screwed on straight.

A lot has evolved in the entertainment industry since then.

Welcome Visitors!!

The Canada Day weekend is really the advent of summer fun and visitors pouring out of city confines and hitting the open road to cottage country. The highways and byways can sometimes clog the time schedule in mind, however, with the car crammed and everyone ready for at least a weekend away it’s exciting!

I had occasion to be heading southbound along Highway 12 south of Orillia when a series of delightful sights caught my eye as I passed through the Town of Brechin.

Parked and secured along sidewalks and fences were a series of colourfully painted bicycles, each festooned with cascades of flowers spilling from handlebar baskets, seat brackets and even a tag-along cart in front of the Post Office.

The bright sunshine and abundance of fluttering national flags added to the feeling of celebration. There were lineups at the chip-truck, drivers were jockeying for a spot in parking lots at both the grocery store and hot pop shop.

School’s out, vacation time is here, and summer weekends offer plenty of varied and interesting events and points of interest.

Small town spirit is robust even when the budget isn’t – the folks of Brechin deserve special mention for their wonderful display of folksy and delightful pedal-power flower power.

What an imaginative and cheerful way to welcome visitors!

Earning a Trophy...

In-house advocates, peer recognition and public recognition each seem to have significant influence on the results which are presented publicly to recipients. Winners brandish their awards with fervor - Oscars, Emmy’s, Grammies, Golden Globe and Others…..

And so it goes that a variety of opinions is integral to weigh performances, accomplishments and recognizing merit of other service provider representatives.

Sometimes an actor or actress will eventually bemoan the fact that the roles they play may be too similar, and that they become known for that character rather than being able to branch out with other skill sets.

In the profession of real estate, many skills, an abundance of knowledge and are required to earn accolades. Practitioners usually toil quietly yet relentlessly to qualify for that yearned-for audition. When the big break comes they are bristling with excitement and try their hardest to perform well. Like an actor or actress, a REALTOR® may also find they regularly attract the same kind of listing again and again, without moving up or out of that “box”.

If you are a high-end Seller or a high-end Buyer and have heard of someone in the area who is regarded with merit, but may be a smaller fish in the big pond of salespeople, might it be an assumption to presume that the biggest fish is better qualified or will “do better”? Smaller fry, as on the stage, can often times play a bigger role with skill and alacrity. An aspiring performer may be close at hand without having yet attained an opportunity to walk down the red carpet.

Oscars, Emmys, Grammies, Golden Globe and Recommendations are all meritorious trophies!

The Ballad Of High Noon...

The familiar lyrics of this movie theme were written by Ned Washington, music by Dimitri Tiomkin for the 1952 film.

I recalled some of the words recently when a friend challenged my selflessness and felt strongly that I am a too-giving and caring person. My true confession is that the opinion was a bit of a sucker punch which left my head spinning!

Friends offer unconditional love, if there really is such a thing, and are stalwart supporters and encouraging – even if they don’t actually see the world from the same perspective. We try to protect each other with concern and attentiveness, but not manipulation.

There are plenty of “girlfriend e-mails” which are composed to reassure, uplift and reaffirm the values we share and care for each other; regardless.

Admittedly, it is difficult to understand clearly how other people think and feel, so the shoe must fit on their foot as well when they consider us. Each and every human is a complex creature, partly influenced by “how we were raised” and partly by choices we elect to make.

My own Mother shared that there are two kinds of people in the world, givers and takers.  Of the two, seemingly there are more of one than the other – so when this self-centered friend faulted me with derisive and sneering comments it reinforced for me that whatever differences friends may have; each deserves consideration.

The progressive ages and stages of life bring different challenges –care giving  may be one of them. Choosing to be a caregiver is not simply “throwing oneself under the wheels of a bus” – it is an adult and unselfish choice, not to be taken lightly.

It is all consuming, without adequate respite in most cases, and the commitment, from someone else’s point of view, may be unfathomable.

We need to implore our self-centered friends to offer help, not hurt.

Do not forsake me, oh my darling
Although you're grievin', don't think of leavin'
Not while I need you by my side

Belated Birthday Wishes...

On the eve of a new year, I’m filled with reflection, introspection and a measure of hopefulness. Sometimes we just need to give ourselves a good shake and clear any foggy notions – sort of  eradicating any shadowy thoughts that may be lurking in an unswept corner of our consciousness.

So many trivial thoughts! And lists in the making of “things to do/things to change/things to put aside/complications to ease or even let go. One of the most precious treasures a person will ever have is good health. Psychologically as well as physically, being on the right side of the grass is always a good thing – how solidly our feet may be planted merits discussion!

Many people are toiling under clouds of despair and even hopelessness – keeping their sunny side up is infrequent and takes a lot of effort! We have only to observe others to realize that we aren’t as badly off as we might sometimes think. Even a good walk and change of scene is uplifting when we feel troubled – my little Buddy walks like a  trooper !

I want to charge ahead into my next year with refined and achievable goals,  to dig deeper for compassion and understanding when my patience feels thin, to do my best, and of course to come through with shining colours!

Tomorrow will bring cards from several loved ones, perhaps a telephone call or two, and  renewed vigour. By today clearing my closet of unnecessaries and re-examining those little rooms in my mind stacked too full of stuff I will be able to make a clean sweep of it all.

This birthday comes with a push broom to keep my path clear – Happy Birthday to Me!

Which One Is Pesky, Which One's a Pest...

Within the past three weeks I had occasion to ask my family physician for a referral to a specialist. He would be more than happy to oblige I was quite sure; especially being that I am not a pesky patient!

In my business as a REALTOR® I know clearly the importance of following up with clients – especially by telephone, and  timing can be a sensitive issue.

Just by coincidence, because I wasn’t clear whether the specialists’ office would call me with the appointment or whether my own doctor’s office would call, I thought a follow up enquiry might be in order.  Turns out that the “bee sting man” had apparently not received the request…and their office was already booked for this entire month!

It’s a certainty that our health care system is overwhelmed, and my own small issue is not of paramount concern – after all – the probability of getting stung by another bee in the midst of a cool autumn seems unlikely. My quest to resolve which bee is a pesk makes me query now if I should have followed up sooner?

Nonetheless, my brain is buzzing! Nearly everywhere I look there are bees seeking shelter for the coming Winter months, and my timing brought stinging results.

I could’ve and I should’ve but I didn’t.

Which one is pesky, which one’s a pest?

Raising Rabbits

During the years after the great Depression of the North American economy, my maternal grandparents moved from Regina, Saskatchewan to the Eastern Townships of Quebec. My Gramma had missed being closer in proximity to her sisters, and it had been a longtime coming!

One of the ways my Gramma brought income to the home was raising rabbits – two varieties and both for different markets. The Belgian hares were for eating – large and meaty. The Angoras were for furriers in Montreal to buy and create jackets, stoles and other wraps and trims.

I myself have a fondness for rabbits, and my small collectibles have been acquired as gifts over the years. They are discreet, in various poses, and valued from very little to slightly significant in dollars. There’s a consistency that runs through whatever theme a person is drawn to – whether it be elephants, dolls, silver spoons, teacups,  golf hats or fishing lures, to name just a few.

Last week my “joy-trip” friend added a new member to the bunny collection – a small representation made by the famous Swarkovski™ manufacturers.

This fellow is the tiniest of all in size, but represents a huge affection that’s been long-term and unbroken. He is golden in colour and facets sparkle, even through the glass case.  I feel like he is more powerful in feel than  any of the others – the proverbial “small but mighty”.

I’m glad my rabbits don’t reproduce and crowd out their space with diminished appeal – just 8 in the collection – each one symbolizing a special friendship. It’s a pleasure to be raising rabbits!

Tugging Mom...

A good friend of mine has been a REALTOR® for over twenty years, and at this point in her life her children, while still in elementary school, are grown enough that she can see her way to the future and increasing her business again.

It’s tough sledding – Mom’s taxi service is a feat of endurance that can be observed from the very early hours of the morning heading out to hockey or swimming practices or beating the highway homeward with the athlete in the back seat fast asleep!

The many other routine duties that most Mom’s perform result in a long list that requires agility and stamina to accomplish. Whatever the woman’s occupation may be outside of the home, all Moms are faced with decision making that sometimes tears at their heartstrings and creates an internal sinister and simmering probability that they’re a “bad Mom” if their response is the least popular.

Two decades ago many husbands who became fathers did not participate in any tasks they had not previously been responsible for. Changing a diaper was an absolute and emphatic “No!” – and pushing the baby buggy was nearly as distasteful. Nowadays it seems nearly the reverse – and yet, manipulative tactics still exist.

Observing the travails of my friend in balancing responsibilities and work I today wish I had a hank of rope to noose around her partner’s thick neck! My father always knotted his necktie with a Double Windsor style configuration – I’m sure I can remember the how-to!

Flash Tape...

A colleague and I were recently discussing the dismay of vertical buttonholes which may “pull” slightly more than those which are horizontal. Some of today's synthetic fabrics are shiny surfaced or more “clingy” by design – and any wardrobe malfunction is annoying to both the wearer and the observer.

The appearance of Flash Tape in my mailbox at the office elicited a giggle for sure!

The description states that it “secures” deep, plunging or revealing necklines; open-sided dresses; wrap style tops’ tube tops and halters; as well as cuffs, hems and socks”. Except for unwanted gaps between buttons, I anticipate that, as a REALTOR®,  the highest and best use for Flash Tape will be to keep this must-have fashion accessory at the ready lest I need to piece together either a missing solution or secure too many words strung out together!

As far as  other unwanted gaps,  breathing space between comments or keeping chatter from flowing unrestrictedly offers clients time to think about what they’ve seen and consider what they wish to do. The description on the Flash Tape dispenser describes it as body/clothing tape – it’s a perfect two-for-the-price-of-one  accessory to be carried at all times in one’s briefcase! Just whip it out , then peel ‘n stick to mitigate disaster!

Insular vs. Insulated...

Several years ago a not-too-young woman applied to the office for work as Front Desk Reception. Observing females very nearly winced - while astonished men ogled. Even the bossman shuddered!

This individual offered excellent credentials and verifiable references, a pleasant outgoing personality and quick mind. Her application was, predictab declined.

Others who were already acquainted weren’t concerned…she would likely shrug it off casually and counsel herself that a better opportunity would come along anyway.

Quite recently I had occasion to sit next to this same woman at an adult meeting of like-minded people who share personal concerns and seek solutions to the various quandaries they find challenging. Of course I spoke immediately, so as to make her feel welcome, and in return felt her hand slip around mine with relief. Outwardly, as do most people from time to time, she appeared calm and collected in the face of personal adversity – but her hands shook like a tiny leaf and were ice-cold.

The moments passed and the meeting moved into full discussion, I realized with admiration, that the self-absorbed and apparently insular persona which felt almost discomforting was, in actuality, an insulating mechanism to deflect rather than attract personal involvement.

As time passes and more self assurance develops through learning the coping skills she needs in providing care to her parent, this lady will blossom as her strengths are identified and capabilities grow.