Be Careful What You Ask for, You Might Get it!

“The grass is always greener…” is an oft-heard saying that’s appropriate to employment, partner, residential address or maybe even vying to keep up with the Jones’…whoever they may be.

In the age of increasing personal debt and credit too easily obtained, everyone and everything seems to be running amok.  Today’s older adults who were possibly married between 40-60 years ago, were aware at an early age of the essentials of budgeting and living within one’s means. Nowadays young brides seem to exhibit a sense of entitlement for everything they want, and NOW!

No more saving up for anything…as my Mother says – just “living on the never-never”.

I’m distinctly aware of the hardships endured by many single women – whether divorced or bereaved, or never partnered. Single-income mothers are the hardest hit, especially without financial support from children’s fathers.   So ladies everywhere, if you and your sweetie are having “one of those days” when any option looks better, be aware that the grass isn’t always greener. The lush temptation of what ifs could turn into a devastating brownfield with just a twist of fate.

At the end of the day...

A new Superintendent has taken over stewardship of an apartment building located on the route I take when walking the dog. Over the past few weeks many improvements have been made, including cinchbug treatment of the lawns, new topsoil and new seed on the nasty patches.

Unlike manicured lawns that are the pride of many, this property has grass that is multi-coloured – and includes hardy clover just about to bloom.

Which brings me to the topic of my Musings today… “I’m looking over a 4 leaf clover…” Amazing after all these years of hunting I’ve never found one!  Touring a Lake Joseph cottage last year the owner proudly displayed, on the bedside table, a framed 4-leaf clover which had accompanied a hand-written note from the Sales Representative who had sold the property to them years before. This thoughtful gesture and the clover-leaf itself were fond remembrances.

At the end of the day though, if we personally discovered our own “4-leaf clover” idea that we’d “overlooked before”, doesn’t it seem possible and even probable that sleeptime/rest-time/dream-time would feel happier and luckier?

Putting things in proper perspective….

It’s amazing to hear the verbalilzed wrangling of peoples’ tortured minds when something has not gone exactly right. Whether the subject is of major of minor importance – it’s difficult sometimes to put things in proper perspective.

The “weather” is always a  great topic of conversation, it’s either too hot, too cold, too wet or not wet enough… and everything in between! Imagine for one fleeting second the anguish of those citizens both south of our Canadian border and elsewhere in the world where horrific weather has destroyed lives and livelihoods.  What difference will it make if we here have some cloud cover, a few sprinkles, some stiff breezes….Oh the piteous groans of how the rain affects tourism; failing economies and a slow start to the real estate market for cottage sales. I always comment that “if you like it in the rain, you’ll love it when the sun comes out!”

Another oft-heard complaint is mosquitos and blackflies. It’s true they are significant pests, but on the flip side, of ecological importance. So get yourself a bug suit!

Just this morning I overheard someone bleating that they weren’t feeling quite up to their usual peak, but after a good night’s sleep all would be right with the world again. Seconds later a friend confided that her partner’s health prognosis is not optimistic – so conversely, she will not likely sleep well for many nights here on in.

If we turn our frowns upside down it will be easier to put things in perspective. First things first, in order of importance – leave the small stuff for another time.

The pain of Bereavement...

A neighbor, next door in fact, has “passed on” to green pastures and still waters.

Tonight, there are several cars crowded into too-few spots, close girlfriends comforting the daughter – and some laughter resounding too!

When someone you cherish is lost to you, whether through separation, divorce, or death – the pain of bereavement is actually excruciating. The sensation is like a knife in your heart, then twisted. No-one can share your pain, or relate to it. People who sympathetically say “I know exactly how you feel” are insensitive and thoughtless! They know not a whit. Well-meaning expressions of sympathy are coined from tradition – in many cases it’s simply a matter of not knowing what to say, so saying anything is better than nothing.

 I believe that everyone is entitled to grieve in their own way, knowing that support is essential, but it’s a personal journey. May be short, may be longer.

Been there, done that. I only wish I had been able to reach out to my own sister when her husband passed on to those idealized green pastures and still waters .

Reach out – don’t be afraid of rejection – you will feel better for having expressed sincerity than suffering remorse after-the-fact.