Thursday, January 24, 2013

The Ballad Of High Noon...

The familiar lyrics of this movie theme were written by Ned Washington, music by Dimitri Tiomkin for the 1952 film.

I recalled some of the words recently when a friend challenged my selflessness and felt strongly that I am a too-giving and caring person. My true confession is that the opinion was a bit of a sucker punch which left my head spinning!

Friends offer unconditional love, if there really is such a thing, and are stalwart supporters and encouraging – even if they don’t actually see the world from the same perspective. We try to protect each other with concern and attentiveness, but not manipulation.

There are plenty of “girlfriend e-mails” which are composed to reassure, uplift and reaffirm the values we share and care for each other; regardless.

Admittedly, it is difficult to understand clearly how other people think and feel, so the shoe must fit on their foot as well when they consider us. Each and every human is a complex creature, partly influenced by “how we were raised” and partly by choices we elect to make.

My own Mother shared that there are two kinds of people in the world, givers and takers.  Of the two, seemingly there are more of one than the other – so when this self-centered friend faulted me with derisive and sneering comments it reinforced for me that whatever differences friends may have; each deserves consideration.

The progressive ages and stages of life bring different challenges –care giving  may be one of them. Choosing to be a caregiver is not simply “throwing oneself under the wheels of a bus” – it is an adult and unselfish choice, not to be taken lightly.

It is all consuming, without adequate respite in most cases, and the commitment, from someone else’s point of view, may be unfathomable.

We need to implore our self-centered friends to offer help, not hurt.

Do not forsake me, oh my darling
Although you're grievin', don't think of leavin'
Not while I need you by my side

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