Performance Reviews…

I recently watched the 2003 movie entitled Something’s Gotta Give, which starred Jack Nicholson, Diane Keaton, and Canadian actor Keanu Reeves. It was a perfect filler for an evening when nothing in the TV lineup was appealing!

When observing mixed groups in social scenes a lot of surreptitious eyeballing goes on when others’ actions are observed. Public behaviours that are too sensational have proved to be the downfall of many an unwitting employee when the boss either sees or hears of incident. Green-eyed antagonists vying for either a beauty or a beast can flash daggers one to the other! Observant neighbours form gossipy opinions which target anyone who’s created too much attention – do they merit “In” or “Out” at the PTA table or Sunday group? Business competitors sometimes dig for dirt too.

Playing the game by the rules, keeping one’s head up and sidestepping controversy are well thought out actions. In this age electronic communications when personal privacy may be readily compromised, whatever you post, sext or otherwise share is a public performance review. Travel sites have been popular for a long time – vacation planners access the public reviews and are influenced by what they read! Dissing the doctor as your appointment wasn’t quite on schedule isn’t a smart way to maintain cordiality – if in need don’t knead!  Stiletto rants in print, on radio or TV and abbreviated comments have avid public followers – proverbial darts or laurels that measure someone’s merit.

Families keep a close eye on the actions of siblings, their respective partners, parents and anyone else who comes into view – sizing up their observations and assessing incidents and failure to comply behaviours!  

In the movie, Keanu Reeves’ perceptiveness as the intuitive doctor was rewarding. Wherever we may be, there’s likely a discerning someone who’s putting two and two together to culminate in just one of our many personal performance reviews.

Grinding Spices….

As a young woman and since, I have always been a keen cook. One Christmas, more than 30 years ago, I was suffering from a too-thin wallet, and decided that my only option for gifting was an assortment of pickles, relishes and chutney that had been put down in the summer season.

The recipients were truly delighted, and as everyone knows, home-crafted anythings are dear to everyone’s heart!

Cooking classes for children were begun in 1978 and continued until 1985. Students and parents alike were excited with the mastery of how-to and menu planning. A stint hostessing an International class for adults evolved from in-depth study of countries, their cultures and their foods. Sampler baskets of spices and varying spice combinations were offered at boutique stores – with requests for more.

For anyone who has used it, a mortar and pestle garners personal satisfaction and a sense of calm when rough is rendered smooth. At this particular juncture in my life, I am rediscovering the pleasures of preparing meals at home and rekindling my imagination. In this winter of 2013/2014, there are more grey skies and bluster than sun and sparkle, so yummy aromas pervading the house evoke both anticipation and, almost oppositely, calm, contentment, and a sense of stability.

As I take stock of staples and how to tweak treats, I am not only doing physical preparation of food – my mind is also nurturing and defining career opportunities which will be  perfect recipes to both produce income and offer people skills and customer care that are often essential ingredients in business development. Inadvertent failure to include them leaves tasters with a sense that “there’s something missing but I’m not sure what”. Everyone’s personal and profession occupation requires well-formulated combinations when grinding spices.

Looking Back…..

I recently read an “advice column” response to comments from a woman who had been widowed, committed to a relationship within a few months thereafter, and was heartbroken and “couldn’t stop crying” when the new partner ended their twosome.

Many men and women sometimes feel “unsuccessful” or “incomplete” if they aren’t half of what’s perceived as a whole entity.

When one looks at one’s own reflection in the mirror, do we recognize ourselves as the egg white or the egg yolk half of a partnership; or more affirmatively, as our own whole egg?  Whether it be marriage vows or an unofficial pledge, when one person commits to being the partner in a relationship, it’s a given that some compromise is an implicit presumption. So do we lose part of our identity as well?

The various life stages we grow through are, ideally, an ever-becoming process of the real person, blossoming into their best. Some people seem to always go with the flow, we can’t see evolvement; others are super-strivers to cultivate their personal and professional potential. On occasion, we feel at odds, but back-pedaling isn’t an option so we feel stuck.

The hubbub of the holiday season behind, and now in a new year where every page is still blank, most people intend to write their own book. Intentions are as real as pens and pencils – sometime there’s a block of short-sightedness that holds us back from setting down that first word!

Indecision and lack of clarity reflects in our face – others can see that something’s amiss. If our life’s journey includes wading through a swamp and we are mired down, think of it as a Temporary Assignment we’re obliged to complete.

That shell we grow is in self-defense, protecting inner thoughts and outward actions. “This too shall pass”, and the day will come when the face you see in the mirror is the real you looking back.

New Years Revolutions…

The tradition of promising oneself to turn things around or “make better” in some way or other in the New Year has a success rate of accomplishment that’s not thrilling. I’ve read that the two most frequent topics are dieting and quitting smoking.

Professionally and personally, history repeats itself when we set goals that are not realistic – thereby setting ourselves up for a fall. So this year, instead of either shrugging it all off or embracing intention, I’m setting my sights on achievable tasks.

In the December 29, 2013 Toronto Star™ section identified as Insight & Books, an article entitled Moving On struck a chord with me. The five stories offered “five perspectives on saying goodbye”. Everyone every day is moving on from some place or situation to elsewhere; at sleep time we say “goodbye today” and hopefully reawaken with clarity.

Having survived an unexpected career change and then an employment fizzle within the past 6 months, I came into the Christmas Season feeling quavery. Even my proverbial sense of optimism wasn’t sunny – in fact, I felt absolutely humbuggy! Quieting myself to seek and ask for answers seemed inconclusive – then “whammo”!

Saying “goodbye” to the old and embracing the new is my one and only New Years Revolution.

Keeping in Touch…

Greetings by e-mail are the trend now, “snail mail” is seemingly phasing out; and Canada Post™ has just announced that much of its door-to-door delivery services will be discontinued.

Season’s Greetings in the Inbox symbolize that the recipient is held close in thought, if not proximity. Newsletters used to be trendy too, but too often the enthusiasm outweighed the news, or vice versa. I used to write an annual update in rhyme, but my rhyme isn’t poetic of late; so the exchange of communication is quiet.

This Christmas season I received a truly beautiful animated e-card, no message, just a signature. It made me wonder immediately “what’s up?” – These folks are upbeat and outward bound! My efforts to compose an e-mail felt stilted, nothing to say from this end either that they aren’t aware of. I’ve heard it said that when we look at a person we may see, behind that bright smile, eyes that are sad…

In this Yuletide season when we want to reach out and connect, we should make time and do it. Across the miles or across town, we may never know how much it means to the recipient when the Inbox dings or telephone rings – just you ‘n me keeping in touch!

The First Noel….

Respectfully alluding to a historical event that is celebrated worldwide, I am thinking now of every parent celebrating “Baby’s First Christmas”. Commemorative baubles for the tree are treasured adornments that are carefully stored and unwrapped with emotion every year. Sometimes a history of tree-trimming evolves as children become able to take part, homespun or school-crafted decorations are often included – special contributions.

When I was growing up, Christmas Eve tree-trimming was begun by my Dad, and it was sometimes a frustrating event when he couldn’t arrange the lights symmetrically the first time, or didn’t test them first – with disappointing results. Eventually my brother, sister and I were allowed to start hanging decorations. It was important that each strand of tinsel be hung individually – sometimes a tedious method for youngsters who were agog with lights and promise! I sometimes wonder if my Dad actually re-arranged everything after we were asleep…

In more recent years I have embraced the habit of decorating my own tree – each year with a different colour theme. It’s fun and can be really economical if decorations and specially-selected accessories are acquired slowly and during Boxing week clear outs when Santa has gone back to the North Pole! If you’re entertaining family or friends for New Years, simply remove the tree-topper and replace it with a glittered top hat from the Dollar-store® outlet or Dollarama®. Three, five or seven tooting horns can be laid across the branches too – it’s really festive!

Whether this year is your first, one of many or a specially-inspired yuletide, celebrate with enthusiasm and sparkle. Everyone can find fulfillment, however small it may feel, in marking this special Season as if it is your First Noel.

Looking Good….

A lady co-worker the other day was dreamily humming the soundtrack theme from the movie Sleepless in Seattle.  It’s a favourite movie of many, possibly because the romantic aspects satisfy either a craving or nostalgic whiff of once was.

It’s unsettling when our paths cross unexpectedly with someone we haven’t seen for a long while – perhaps a classmate or other adult acquaintance. Our impression may be that the person appears burdened and consequently may have lost or gained weight, lost their “zip”, and their persona is dimmed. Conversely, the person may have a really positive aura that exudes energy, enthusiasm and overall zest.

Anyone who arises after a fretful night of tossing/turning or otherwise affected sleep knows how difficult it is to put on our game face and step out with a spring in our step. Interrupted sleep or no sleep whatsoever is totally debilitating. Overwrought Moms and Dads may be functioning on auto-pilot; caregivers may be light sleepers with their ear cocked for a rustle of bedclothes or other indicators. Financial, marital, bereavement or work-related stressors are other recognizable impacts. If you Google™ the Holmes-Rafe Life Stressors Inventory you can score yourself - which might be either unnerving or comforting!

It’s essential, however difficult, that we each keep at top of mind the inevitability that “this too shall pass”. Some people appear to be able to carry their rucksack of troubles with grace and aplomb, perhaps setting an admirable example to observers. Nobody is truly alone in their toil and if we can offload even a few factors affecting us the result will be lighter, brighter and fresher.

Looking good!