Monday, December 5, 2011

In The Still Of The Night...

The highs and lows of relationships – whether fresh and thrilling or more established – must be an interesting cycle for anyone observing from a distance. Some couples thrive on an adrenalin rush of conflict, for others there is no thriving…….yet whichever way people handle the inevitable challenges may be what’s right for them.

Sleep deprivation can be a huge factor, as well as the everyday stresses and frantic pace of daily living. I’ve heard that the month of August is most often when crimes of passion are committed – the summer temperatures prompt irritability and short fuses.

New mothers, and new fathers – distraught with their own feelings of inadequacy and the upheaval from what was once comfortable –  sometimes feel totally overwhelmed by the immensity of new responsibility and commitment. Addiction counselors can readily affirm the affects of users’ choices on their families, co-workers and most immediately – partners and children in the household.

When personality “types” are pigeonholed into alphabetical classifications, it’s easy to be offhand and excuse someone’s inappropriate behavior as “oh, don’t pay any mind, that’s the way it is”.  What a convenient dismissal of acting out! People are often co-dependent on each other, one enabling their partner in deference to their own sense of what may be acceptable or not. Theories and actualities abound.

The appropriate opportunity will present itself to thrash things through and come to some resolution.  Strive to do the right thing – forgive if you can, apologize if you should, and know what your options are – evaluating then if the value is there.

Retrospection and comprehension come when the dust has settled…..when the world is in slumber and you find yourself in the still of the night. 

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